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Dirty Jokes Warning X-Rated. Thread starter hacksaw Start date Apr 13, Joined Nov 16, Messages Quote of the day: Profanity is a crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.
He greased her up and squirmed and shoved, And pinched her little tit, But nothing seemed to work for him, The damned thing wouldn't fit!
So Mary drank alot of wine, And smoked a little grass, And just as she was passing out, He shoved it up her ass. She tossed her coat over a chair, her purse over the banister; she threw the rest of her clothing around her bedroom with abandon.
The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked if she had had a good time. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Edna's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Edna the news he said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged. Since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom.
I am so sorry, but he's dead. When they arrive, the fathers make each other a bet -- in a year's time, whichever family has become more American will win.
A year later when they meet again, the first guy says, "My son plays baseball, I had McDonald's for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud for tonight.
How about you? Seeing this he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing? With this the other guy slaps a set of hand cuffs on him, takes his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strips him naked and leaves.
Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy hand cuffed to the tree, stark ass naked and asked, "What the hell happened to you?
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